Lately, I’ve been trying to figure out my life. You know, things like what college I should go to, what career I want to get into, and where I want to plant myself to live, marry, and raise a family to finish off the rest of my life. I think a lot of adults kind of pressure us as we grow up to figure out a lot of that throughout the first twenty to thirty years of our lives. That’s all fine and dandy, I get why. It’s very good to have some sense of direction (which I totally lack).
But as I stood outside on my front porch watching my dog take a dump, I felt that, despite what many of you may think, I’m on the right track. I guess I don’t know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I honestly don’t know what I want to do to make a living. This might sound bad, and you probably disagree with me, but I’m focusing on simply making a life for myself, not so much just making a living.
What I mean by this is that I want to make decisions now that will ensure a good shot of happiness in the future. That definitely includes getting an education, a solid job, and having some sort of game plan, but more.
I don’t need a good job to be happy. I don’t need a nice house. I don’t need a Master’s degree. But it will all help.
The point of this post is going to also include my third pro tip in finding happiness. Don’t allow yourself to fall into the deception that you have to do all of that in order to be happy. Those are just pieces to the bigger picture.
I think that when I’m fifty, I want to be happy. When I “grow up” I want to just be at peace with how things in my life are. They’ll tell us that we need to focus on school and working right now in order to be happy in forty years. But there’s more to it than that. You won’t automatically encounter happiness because you went to school and got a job, and then you worked every day till you’re 65.
I don’t necessarily believe that happiness, or success for that matter, is something that can be chased. It's just a by-product. I think rather than like in pursuing something, happiness simply ensues. It’s the result of giving yourself completely to someone or something greater than oneself, other than oneself.
Every day, I simply want to wake up and be able to do that. I want to embrace what I am, and then dive into what I am most passionate about. That might be in politics, in worship, or in my relationships with others. I want to find a job that I enjoy going to, to the point that it’s not really a “job,” but a large factor and positive aspect of my life.
Carl Jung was a Swiss psychiatrist who founded analytical psychiatry. He also believed there were five factors that all led to happiness. Unfortunately, most of these were left out in most of our education and while we were raised, I think.
Firstly, he said happiness is ensured by good physical and mental health. Your relationships, and good ones, were next. He also felt that you should be able to perceive beauty in art and nature. Never lose that awe of the world, and solid marvel at things. He said that reasonable standards of living and satisfactory work were needed. Lastly, he felt that having a philosophic or religious perspective when it came to coping successfully with life is a must-have.
Read more. Go for a run or something. Exercise both your body and mind on a regular basis, and you’ll more than likely find happiness . I can agree with that, and this is something I’m going to begin to focus on each day. When I grow up, I want to be in good health, fit, and smarter than I am now.
I want to get married, and fix the broken connections with my family. I want to grow closer to my friends and meet new people. I think it’s absolutely imperative for me to have close people in my life, because I don’t want to walk this world alone. I also think that most of my happiness draws on my relationships with people.
I want to never lose my awe and wonder of this world and the universe. I want to continue to play music, and express myself through that and my writing. When the world becomes mundane and boring, I think it’s significantly harder to be happy.
And the one everyone else always focuses on; getting a job and having a good, solid life. I want to be happy with my occupation. That’s simply it. I don’t need a mansion, but I want a house that will be clean, warm, and safe. So, yes, people, I do think it's necessary to go to school and do all that, and it is indeed a priority. But I don't think it works this way:
EDUCATION + A JOB = HAPPINESS. It all helps and can add to it, but it's not the only ingredient in everything.
I interpret that last one not as believing in God, but simply believing in something beyond us. That probably is God to most people, or a cause or belief. Sometimes simply having some sort of philosophy about this world and your life is enough. If you read my blog, you'll see that I obviously have a philosophy and certain beliefs.
I feel like happiness is a result of doing all these things. If I focus on these things, I believe I’ll encounter happiness and, like I said, it will simply ensue. I’ll let you know how it goes :p
Thoughts?
Also, I got a compliment on the last joke I posted on here, so here is another. What did zero say to eight? "LOL. Nice belt."
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Saturday, January 11, 2014
What the Luck
I wrote in my little journal dealio tonight predicting the playoff results, and who would rise to face each other in the Superbowl. Already I was wrong. Let's cross our fingers, and hope that I wasn't completely off. Tomorrow, I'm predicting the Panthers will beat the 49ers, and, of course, Denver over San Diego. Next week, then, if things go as I predict, Denver will face New England, while the Seahawks will face the Panthers. The Seahawks will win, and I think Denver will finally beat the Patriots. Seattle-Denver Superbowl. Unless our defense gets their act together, I have a feeling Denver will be the underdog of that game.
On that note, Denver and the Seahawks played in the preseason, and we got destroyed 40-10. But that's preseason. Anyway, let's just hope that if the Superbowl ends up that way, that we won't get beaten that badly.
But man, tonight... the Colts? What the luck <--- see what I've been doing there? Okay, maybe you don't get it. Whatever. I seriously thought that Luck could beat those Pats. I was dead wrong. On that same token, that isn't the first time I've been wrong about something/someone in the past month...
Enough with football, because if you wanted information on predictions, stats, and commentaries on games, you'd be tuning into ESPN Monday morning to hear everyone's professional and high-dollar opinions.
On that same token, those guys at ESPN are just as accurate as your local news stations' weather men. Or women. Anything's possible. That's why football is awesome. And that is also why I almost watched that game till the final second, even though once Luck threw his 3rd interception I had a feeling it was over from there.
So, let me indulge you with my second piece of advice on how to attain happiness. Last post, I talked about expectations. You probably read that one expecting something about the movie, The Notebook. I'm sure a number of you were disappointed.
Derp.
Here's my next piece of life-changing tips: don't fall into the trap of social comparisons. What do I mean? you ask. Well, a lot of people compare clothes, cars, how many retweets someone gets, or how many likes they have on their picture they posted 5 minutes ago. This can lead to jealousy, which by the way is one of the most ugliest emotions, in my opinion, or frustration with one's self. Oneself? I believe it's oneself. Whatever.
Ultimately, you will never be happy if you compare what you have or are to others. I promise you. Because someone's always going to have something better, or they're going to beat you in at least one other category. Then you'll focus on being better than them, if you're a fighter. You might just focus on how much you suck, or how crappy your computer is compared to their godly $2000 rig, and you'll drown in a pool of depression, misery, and jealousy. Don't go out that way, bro.
Really, though, worrying about what others have or are, or comparing yourself or what you have to that will only give you a lifetime of unhappiness. Social comparisons will rob you of joy.
RANT TIME. If you haven't read a lot my my garbage I wrote in high school, you'll learn of a group called the Rantiers, where we all wrote posts just ranting about something that got us stirred up, or was just on our minds. We just ranted. You can stop here, if you don't want to put up with my thinking "out loud," kind of. Anyway. Leh go.
An individual who I barely know told me two things that made me really rethink relationships: 1.) She was too afraid to hurt other people by getting in a relationship with them and 2.) she was unlovable, and incapable of loving.
So, I focused a lot on the first part. I've heard that a lot lately. It's this selfless argument that maybe you think you're too needy, or you won't give enough, or maybe you don't think you're good enough, so you think you'll either drain the person emotionally, or just have overall negative effects on the person, so you avoid getting close. You avoid developing a tight-knit relationship with that person because you're concerned about the fallout, the end... and not for you, but for them.
I call bull. I mean, I personally think that you're hurting people more by saying, "I'm too dangerous, you best stay away from me and out of my life because I'll burn you." Why rob them of an experience because you're worried about what may or may not happen? Why rob yourself of that? Secondly, I think ya'll might be just as afraid of being hurt, as you are of hurting others.
I also think you're being awfully pessimistic because you're assuming it's going to end badly.
(After writing this all, I realized another reason behind this thinking was that sometimes you're just not ready to start a relationship. I definitely believe in the thinking behind: if you can't make yourself happy alone, you can't make another person happy.)
The second statement was even more upsetting, I think. No one is incapable of loving. Seriously. Like, we were all designed and built to do that. It's in your blood. It's in our nature to be compassionate and to feel for others. Friends, family, or beyond that... we crave it. To say you're incapable of that is the same as saying you're incapable of breathing. And to force yourself to avoid relationships--of any kind--is suppressing something that will eventually burst, and then it'll be awfully devastating. Don't hold back, don't relent... just lucking live. (I did it again. LOL.)
Someone described me as someone who sees beauty in everything, and who marvels at the world. I thought about that for a bit. Maybe she's right.
I guess that's also why I'll say that no one is unlovable, either. I've failed in the past week at spelling -able words. I forgot that the e gets dropped if the root word ends in one. Derp.
So, yes... I do marvel at the world. It's an incredible thing.
So, the first half of this post focused on playoff predictions. The second half of this post actually was something you could take away from this, and that a second tip on how to maybe make yourself happier. The third half was just a rant of what exactly is on my mind because I left my journal in my car, and I figured I'd just let it out on here.
It might mean nothing to you. Or it might get you thinking... hmmm.
All in all, guys, do your best to not let social comparisons steal happiness from you, because you'll end up drowning, again, in a pool of depression, misery, and jealousy. Secondly, don't suppress your emotions. Control them, monitor them, and keep yourself in check... use your head, but don't suppress. I guess the difference would be like using a silencer on a gun, or not. Let that gunshot ring loud and obnoxious-like. But aim. Metaphors are fun. I hope that one makes sense.
I always say this, but you're wasting away our life if you sit there and cower because you're afraid of what might happen. And sometimes, yes, the risk isn't worth taking. I like to think that if you could have a great friendship, maybe fall in love, or become a millionaire with a huge house on a lake and like seven or eight cars, then... the risk is totally worth it.
So, a whole ton of food for thought. Be happy, ya'll. :D
Quick joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered six-offender.
MUAHAHAHA.
And the ultimate question of this post: who do you think will end up in the Superbowl? Furthermore, who will win? YOU BETTER SAY DENVER! For the record, this was published before the game on tomorrow. So, pardon me if I'm dead wrong.
On that note, Denver and the Seahawks played in the preseason, and we got destroyed 40-10. But that's preseason. Anyway, let's just hope that if the Superbowl ends up that way, that we won't get beaten that badly.
But man, tonight... the Colts? What the luck <--- see what I've been doing there? Okay, maybe you don't get it. Whatever. I seriously thought that Luck could beat those Pats. I was dead wrong. On that same token, that isn't the first time I've been wrong about something/someone in the past month...
Enough with football, because if you wanted information on predictions, stats, and commentaries on games, you'd be tuning into ESPN Monday morning to hear everyone's professional and high-dollar opinions.
On that same token, those guys at ESPN are just as accurate as your local news stations' weather men. Or women. Anything's possible. That's why football is awesome. And that is also why I almost watched that game till the final second, even though once Luck threw his 3rd interception I had a feeling it was over from there.
So, let me indulge you with my second piece of advice on how to attain happiness. Last post, I talked about expectations. You probably read that one expecting something about the movie, The Notebook. I'm sure a number of you were disappointed.
Derp.
Here's my next piece of life-changing tips: don't fall into the trap of social comparisons. What do I mean? you ask. Well, a lot of people compare clothes, cars, how many retweets someone gets, or how many likes they have on their picture they posted 5 minutes ago. This can lead to jealousy, which by the way is one of the most ugliest emotions, in my opinion, or frustration with one's self. Oneself? I believe it's oneself. Whatever.
Ultimately, you will never be happy if you compare what you have or are to others. I promise you. Because someone's always going to have something better, or they're going to beat you in at least one other category. Then you'll focus on being better than them, if you're a fighter. You might just focus on how much you suck, or how crappy your computer is compared to their godly $2000 rig, and you'll drown in a pool of depression, misery, and jealousy. Don't go out that way, bro.
Really, though, worrying about what others have or are, or comparing yourself or what you have to that will only give you a lifetime of unhappiness. Social comparisons will rob you of joy.
RANT TIME. If you haven't read a lot my my garbage I wrote in high school, you'll learn of a group called the Rantiers, where we all wrote posts just ranting about something that got us stirred up, or was just on our minds. We just ranted. You can stop here, if you don't want to put up with my thinking "out loud," kind of. Anyway. Leh go.
An individual who I barely know told me two things that made me really rethink relationships: 1.) She was too afraid to hurt other people by getting in a relationship with them and 2.) she was unlovable, and incapable of loving.
So, I focused a lot on the first part. I've heard that a lot lately. It's this selfless argument that maybe you think you're too needy, or you won't give enough, or maybe you don't think you're good enough, so you think you'll either drain the person emotionally, or just have overall negative effects on the person, so you avoid getting close. You avoid developing a tight-knit relationship with that person because you're concerned about the fallout, the end... and not for you, but for them.
I call bull. I mean, I personally think that you're hurting people more by saying, "I'm too dangerous, you best stay away from me and out of my life because I'll burn you." Why rob them of an experience because you're worried about what may or may not happen? Why rob yourself of that? Secondly, I think ya'll might be just as afraid of being hurt, as you are of hurting others.
I also think you're being awfully pessimistic because you're assuming it's going to end badly.
(After writing this all, I realized another reason behind this thinking was that sometimes you're just not ready to start a relationship. I definitely believe in the thinking behind: if you can't make yourself happy alone, you can't make another person happy.)
The second statement was even more upsetting, I think. No one is incapable of loving. Seriously. Like, we were all designed and built to do that. It's in your blood. It's in our nature to be compassionate and to feel for others. Friends, family, or beyond that... we crave it. To say you're incapable of that is the same as saying you're incapable of breathing. And to force yourself to avoid relationships--of any kind--is suppressing something that will eventually burst, and then it'll be awfully devastating. Don't hold back, don't relent... just lucking live. (I did it again. LOL.)
Someone described me as someone who sees beauty in everything, and who marvels at the world. I thought about that for a bit. Maybe she's right.
I guess that's also why I'll say that no one is unlovable, either. I've failed in the past week at spelling -able words. I forgot that the e gets dropped if the root word ends in one. Derp.
So, yes... I do marvel at the world. It's an incredible thing.
So, the first half of this post focused on playoff predictions. The second half of this post actually was something you could take away from this, and that a second tip on how to maybe make yourself happier. The third half was just a rant of what exactly is on my mind because I left my journal in my car, and I figured I'd just let it out on here.
It might mean nothing to you. Or it might get you thinking... hmmm.
All in all, guys, do your best to not let social comparisons steal happiness from you, because you'll end up drowning, again, in a pool of depression, misery, and jealousy. Secondly, don't suppress your emotions. Control them, monitor them, and keep yourself in check... use your head, but don't suppress. I guess the difference would be like using a silencer on a gun, or not. Let that gunshot ring loud and obnoxious-like. But aim. Metaphors are fun. I hope that one makes sense.
I always say this, but you're wasting away our life if you sit there and cower because you're afraid of what might happen. And sometimes, yes, the risk isn't worth taking. I like to think that if you could have a great friendship, maybe fall in love, or become a millionaire with a huge house on a lake and like seven or eight cars, then... the risk is totally worth it.
So, a whole ton of food for thought. Be happy, ya'll. :D
Quick joke: Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered six-offender.
MUAHAHAHA.
And the ultimate question of this post: who do you think will end up in the Superbowl? Furthermore, who will win? YOU BETTER SAY DENVER! For the record, this was published before the game on tomorrow. So, pardon me if I'm dead wrong.
Thursday, January 9, 2014
The Notebook
So, I've been trying something new. I have this black notebook I carry with me everywhere I go. When I'm thoughtful, upset, or feeling, well, anything, really, I just write. Since the 6th, I've written like almost 20 pages of nonsense. I read through some of it. I'd never put that stuff on here. It's me, raw, uninhibited... definitely not public, blog, on the internet kind of material. The reason I'm telling you this is because it's all be very therapeutic. I recommend it. Writing now is a mixture between a way of venting and organizing my feelings and thoughts, and then here, sharing what things are appropriate with all of you.
This last post I failed at the social media. I shared it on the Facebook page. Kind of. Just kidding. I talked about it, but totally forgot to link my viewers to it here. #fail
Alright, so ya'll might find this interesting:
So, you can eat what you want guys. Really. But balance what you eat with what you do throughout the day. I think that's what a lot of people seem to forget. And we fail to remember this to the point that we avoid food that is truly delicious and/or practically starve ourselves. Eat more McDonald's, gais.
I'm going to start a series on happiness. This is ironic. If you know me, you'll understand why. *cough cough*
Anyway, I'm going to talk about how to be happy, and what you should do to make yourself happier, if you aren't or you don't think you're happy enough. Derp.
Let's start with a quote by a dude named Abe. Not me. Abe Lincoln. He's significantly cooler. Just kidding. Well. I mean, he probably was. Being President and all. But he said, "People are only as happy as they make their minds up to be."
There you have it. It's mental. And emotional. It's all up to your brain though. It doesn't matter where you've been, where you're going, or where you're at, even. It doesn't matter what you do or don't have. All of these things can affect your happiness, but it's all how you choose to perceive it all, and what you plan on doing with it. Whether you like or not, you are more than likely in control of your thoughts. You may not be able to control your emotions. But happiness is one that is totally subjective, and one that you can mold yourself to feel, or not.
Anywho, my first segment of advice: expect less. The less you expect, the easier it will be to be happier with what you get. I'm not saying don't set goals or whatever for yourself. Goals are good. But don't walk into a movie saying, "THIS IS GOING TO BE THE MOST BADASS SCI FI MOVIE IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE." Because you're more than likely going to be disappointed.
Don't get me wrong, there are some things you just have to have high expectations for, such as what kind of phone you get (don't settle for an iPhone), who your boyfriend/girlfriend will be (don't take less than what you deserve, and all of you deserve the best), or how good your $8.34 shake is at Whitey's. Do not waver on these things. Stand firm. Be strong.
LOL. Anyway, we got this? Let's try to expect less, and just... live. See if that'll make you happier. I hope that makes sense. Boom.
So... My last post got many mixed reactions. And that's one of the things I think my blog is missing. Reactions. I want to hear what you guys think. So, every post, I'm going to end with an ultimate question. Don't be shy. Ya'll have Facebook. Comment away. (Scroll down, and I've coded in a little box so you can comment.)
So, this is a selfish question, kind of, but I'm really looking for good music to listen to. Comment below your responses! What's your favorite band? Favorite songs by them? FIRE AWAY!
PS: In truth, the first paragraph of this post was about a notebook. I'm going to run analytics on the webpage for the next few days, and see if my hits increase because I titled it the way I did, and used the picture I did for the post image. LOL. (As you know by now, this post had nothing to do with the film, The Notebook. )
This last post I failed at the social media. I shared it on the Facebook page. Kind of. Just kidding. I talked about it, but totally forgot to link my viewers to it here. #fail
Alright, so ya'll might find this interesting:
So, you can eat what you want guys. Really. But balance what you eat with what you do throughout the day. I think that's what a lot of people seem to forget. And we fail to remember this to the point that we avoid food that is truly delicious and/or practically starve ourselves. Eat more McDonald's, gais.
I'm going to start a series on happiness. This is ironic. If you know me, you'll understand why. *cough cough*
Anyway, I'm going to talk about how to be happy, and what you should do to make yourself happier, if you aren't or you don't think you're happy enough. Derp.
Let's start with a quote by a dude named Abe. Not me. Abe Lincoln. He's significantly cooler. Just kidding. Well. I mean, he probably was. Being President and all. But he said, "People are only as happy as they make their minds up to be."
There you have it. It's mental. And emotional. It's all up to your brain though. It doesn't matter where you've been, where you're going, or where you're at, even. It doesn't matter what you do or don't have. All of these things can affect your happiness, but it's all how you choose to perceive it all, and what you plan on doing with it. Whether you like or not, you are more than likely in control of your thoughts. You may not be able to control your emotions. But happiness is one that is totally subjective, and one that you can mold yourself to feel, or not.
Anywho, my first segment of advice: expect less. The less you expect, the easier it will be to be happier with what you get. I'm not saying don't set goals or whatever for yourself. Goals are good. But don't walk into a movie saying, "THIS IS GOING TO BE THE MOST BADASS SCI FI MOVIE IN THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE." Because you're more than likely going to be disappointed.
Don't get me wrong, there are some things you just have to have high expectations for, such as what kind of phone you get (don't settle for an iPhone), who your boyfriend/girlfriend will be (don't take less than what you deserve, and all of you deserve the best), or how good your $8.34 shake is at Whitey's. Do not waver on these things. Stand firm. Be strong.
LOL. Anyway, we got this? Let's try to expect less, and just... live. See if that'll make you happier. I hope that makes sense. Boom.
So... My last post got many mixed reactions. And that's one of the things I think my blog is missing. Reactions. I want to hear what you guys think. So, every post, I'm going to end with an ultimate question. Don't be shy. Ya'll have Facebook. Comment away. (Scroll down, and I've coded in a little box so you can comment.)
So, this is a selfish question, kind of, but I'm really looking for good music to listen to. Comment below your responses! What's your favorite band? Favorite songs by them? FIRE AWAY!
PS: In truth, the first paragraph of this post was about a notebook. I'm going to run analytics on the webpage for the next few days, and see if my hits increase because I titled it the way I did, and used the picture I did for the post image. LOL. (As you know by now, this post had nothing to do with the film, The Notebook. )
Wednesday, January 8, 2014
The Purpose of Life
In my life, I've experienced struggles, great moments, and many late nights pondering things most probably wouldn't waste their time pondering. I've lived in garages, lost elections, had my fair share of family problems, and I've fallen in love. I've spent over 1500 hours playing a first-person shooter, I've written close to fifty posts on this website, and screamed nonsense things at the top of my lungs while on quests and road trips with one of my few close friends. I've played chicken with a semi on a random highway in Missouri, and barely lived through that. I've brought in Red Bull to Whitey's and created one of the greatest energy drink smoothies known to mankind, that even topped Delia's. I scooped thousands of ounces of ice cream, set up hundreds of phones for people who use the technology I sell them on a regular basis, and gotten in one-too-many debates about religion/politics. I've broken hearts, had my heart broken, and mended them. I've sat at a frozen lake in the last minutes of 2013, alone, lost in thought, memories, current feelings, and the future. I've driven aimlessly for hours. I've punched this training bag until my knuckles have bled, ran till I couldn't breathe anymore, and played guitar till my callouses couldn't handle it anymore. I could keep going. Seriously. Frankly, I've done a lot. And I still don't consider my life anywhere to where I want it to be, but here I am.
In the movie, "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty," they talk about the purpose of life. The motto for Life Magazine is: To see things thousands of miles away, things hidden behind walls and within rooms, things dangerous to come to, to draw closer, to see and be amazed." Incredible.
In the past few weeks, I've had my world flipped upside down and turned inside out. I've drawn closer to a lot of great people, ended journeys with others, and found hope.
I've realized that building up walls won't protect me. That I shouldn't be afraid of what's up ahead, and that there is literally beauty in everything. I hate this ice and snow with a passion, but at midnight at the beginning of the year, the way it sparkles in the moonlight is truly beautiful. And yes, I had that thought even while I shivered and shook from the negative temperatures. Even when I lose, even when I know it's time to give up on some things and some people, and even when things don't work out the way I want to, I've realized to simply carry on because life is incredible in the sense that there will always be something else waiting up ahead.
The next step might be a shitty day at work, a long drive to Des Moines, or hours of web design. The next step could be an aimless trip to Chicago, falling in love, or finally winning. Who knows.
I'm going to be honest, I'm rereading this all back to my dog to make sure it makes sense, and she is actually listening to me for the first time in forever.
Everyone made these little New Year's resolutions. I think that's silly. Why do we set goals for a year, and on the first of every year? It's not only that, but we give up on them halfway through.
I'm making a lifetime resolution that I'm going to try to live up to. You should, too. I want to see things thousands of miles away, things hidden behind walls and within rooms, things dangerous to come, to draw closer, to see and to be amazed. I want to live my life to the fullest despite what garbage it throws at me, and to impact the rest of this world in the most positive way. I want to live my life, and stop dreaming and wishing.
I made a Facebook status a few days ago asking about whether or not you should fight for what you want most, or if it'll all just fall into place. My answer has been this: Hell yes. Of course. I am going to fight for everything I wish to have, and make it mine. Because life doesn't just fall into place. I have to live it. I have to fight. The fire doesn't just light up; I have to ignite it.
In this past month I've been surrounded by friends, and I've also spent a lot of time alone thinking over things. I haven't figured out life entirely, or where I need to go, or what I need to do, but I know that up ahead, there are amazing things to come. And I can't even begin to describe how excited I am to carry on. Anything is possible, as cheesy as that sounds. And I will fight for what I want most.
It's crazy because I've gone from feeling like I'm completely alone and that I'm never going to get anywhere, to finally piecing things together, and realizing I'm far from alone, and this journey is far from over.
[Apologies, I'm omitting the little poetic paragraph here, because you all probably get the message without it, anyway.]
GOOD MOVIES TO SEE:
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
The Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug
Frozen
Delivery Man
About Time
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
In the movie, "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty," they talk about the purpose of life. The motto for Life Magazine is: To see things thousands of miles away, things hidden behind walls and within rooms, things dangerous to come to, to draw closer, to see and be amazed." Incredible.
In the past few weeks, I've had my world flipped upside down and turned inside out. I've drawn closer to a lot of great people, ended journeys with others, and found hope.
I've realized that building up walls won't protect me. That I shouldn't be afraid of what's up ahead, and that there is literally beauty in everything. I hate this ice and snow with a passion, but at midnight at the beginning of the year, the way it sparkles in the moonlight is truly beautiful. And yes, I had that thought even while I shivered and shook from the negative temperatures. Even when I lose, even when I know it's time to give up on some things and some people, and even when things don't work out the way I want to, I've realized to simply carry on because life is incredible in the sense that there will always be something else waiting up ahead.
The next step might be a shitty day at work, a long drive to Des Moines, or hours of web design. The next step could be an aimless trip to Chicago, falling in love, or finally winning. Who knows.
I'm going to be honest, I'm rereading this all back to my dog to make sure it makes sense, and she is actually listening to me for the first time in forever.
Everyone made these little New Year's resolutions. I think that's silly. Why do we set goals for a year, and on the first of every year? It's not only that, but we give up on them halfway through.
I'm making a lifetime resolution that I'm going to try to live up to. You should, too. I want to see things thousands of miles away, things hidden behind walls and within rooms, things dangerous to come, to draw closer, to see and to be amazed. I want to live my life to the fullest despite what garbage it throws at me, and to impact the rest of this world in the most positive way. I want to live my life, and stop dreaming and wishing.
I made a Facebook status a few days ago asking about whether or not you should fight for what you want most, or if it'll all just fall into place. My answer has been this: Hell yes. Of course. I am going to fight for everything I wish to have, and make it mine. Because life doesn't just fall into place. I have to live it. I have to fight. The fire doesn't just light up; I have to ignite it.
In this past month I've been surrounded by friends, and I've also spent a lot of time alone thinking over things. I haven't figured out life entirely, or where I need to go, or what I need to do, but I know that up ahead, there are amazing things to come. And I can't even begin to describe how excited I am to carry on. Anything is possible, as cheesy as that sounds. And I will fight for what I want most.
It's crazy because I've gone from feeling like I'm completely alone and that I'm never going to get anywhere, to finally piecing things together, and realizing I'm far from alone, and this journey is far from over.
[Apologies, I'm omitting the little poetic paragraph here, because you all probably get the message without it, anyway.]
GOOD MOVIES TO SEE:
The Secret Life of Walter Mitty
The Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug
Frozen
Delivery Man
About Time
The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
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