The Purpose of Life

In my life, I've experienced struggles, great moments, and many late nights pondering things most probably wouldn't waste their time pondering.  I've lived in garages, lost elections, had my fair share of family problems, and I've fallen in love.  I've spent over 1500 hours playing a first-person shooter, I've written close to fifty posts on this website, and screamed nonsense things at the top of my lungs while on quests and road trips with one of my few close friends.  I've played chicken with a semi on a random highway in Missouri, and barely lived through that.  I've brought in Red Bull to Whitey's and created one of the greatest energy drink smoothies known to mankind, that even topped Delia's.  I scooped thousands of ounces of ice cream, set up hundreds of phones for people who use the technology I sell them on a regular basis, and gotten in one-too-many debates about religion/politics.  I've broken hearts, had my heart broken, and mended them.  I've sat at a frozen lake in the last minutes of 2013, alone, lost in thought, memories, current feelings, and the future.  I've driven aimlessly for hours.  I've punched this training bag until my knuckles have bled, ran till I couldn't breathe anymore, and played guitar till my callouses couldn't handle it anymore.  I could keep going.  Seriously.  Frankly, I've done a lot.  And I still don't consider my life anywhere to where I want it to be, but here I am.  

In the movie, "The Secret Life of Walter Mitty," they talk about the purpose of life.  The motto for Life Magazine is: To see things thousands of miles away, things hidden behind walls and within rooms, things dangerous to come to, to draw closer, to see and be amazed." Incredible.

In the past few weeks, I've had my world flipped upside down and turned inside out.  I've drawn closer to a lot of great people, ended journeys with others, and found hope.

I've realized that building up walls won't protect me.  That I shouldn't be afraid of what's up ahead, and that there is literally beauty in everything.  I hate this ice and snow with a passion, but at midnight at the beginning of the year, the way it sparkles in the moonlight is truly beautiful.  And yes, I had that thought even while I shivered and shook from the negative temperatures.  Even when I lose, even when I know it's time to give up on some things and some people, and even when things don't work out the way I want to, I've realized to simply carry on because life is incredible in the sense that there will always be something else waiting up ahead.

The next step might be a shitty day at work, a long drive to Des Moines, or hours of web design.  The next step could be an aimless trip to Chicago, falling in love, or finally winning.  Who knows.

I'm going to be honest, I'm rereading this all back to my dog to make sure it makes sense, and she is actually listening to me for the first time in forever.  

Everyone made these little New Year's resolutions.  I think that's silly.  Why do we set goals for a year, and on the first of every year?  It's not only that, but we give up on them halfway through.

I'm making a lifetime resolution that I'm going to try to live up to.  You should, too.  I want to see things thousands of miles away, things hidden behind walls and within rooms, things dangerous to come, to draw closer, to see and to be amazed.  I want to live my life to the fullest despite what garbage it throws at me, and to impact the rest of this world in the most positive way.  I want to live my life, and stop dreaming and wishing.

I made a Facebook status a few days ago asking about whether or not you should fight for what you want most, or if it'll all just fall into place.  My answer has been this: Hell yes.  Of course.  I am going to fight for everything I wish to have, and make it mine.  Because life doesn't just fall into place.  I have to live it.  I have to fight.  The fire doesn't just light up; I have to ignite it.

In this past month I've been surrounded by friends, and I've also spent a lot of time alone thinking over things.  I haven't figured out life entirely, or where I need to go, or what I need to do, but I know that up ahead, there are amazing things to come.  And I can't even begin to describe how excited I am to carry on.  Anything is possible, as cheesy as that sounds.  And I will fight for what I want most.

It's crazy because I've gone from feeling like I'm completely alone and that I'm never going to get anywhere, to finally piecing things together, and realizing I'm far from alone, and this journey is far from over.

[Apologies, I'm omitting the little poetic paragraph here, because you all probably get the message without it, anyway.]

GOOD MOVIES TO SEE:

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty

The Hobbit: the Desolation of Smaug

Frozen

Delivery Man

About Time

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire