the Best Present

 

"I guess you know I like you a lot.  Your friendship is the best present I ever got."

I suppose in life, you're going to run into this little predicament.  Maybe it isn't really a problem, but in a way, it is.  See, we have these opportunities to invest our time, love, and energy into relationships.  Sometimes they go no where, and soon that person's just an awfully distant memory.  Every once in a while, they grow and spark into something you honestly can't do without.  Sometimes, you build up such a relationship with someone that you're just, I guess, wonder-struck by.

My girlfriend and I went out to visit my grandparents.  We had a wonderful time.  On the way out, we were trying to think about what we were going to do and were concerned if we'd be bored or not.  Upon arrival, however, we just jumped into deep conversation about a great variety of things, and the two of us would just smile at each other at how, I suppose, amazing their relationship is.  I think my grandpa was saying that next month they'll be celebrating close to their 55th anniversary.  Imagine that.

I enjoy the visits out there because they provide a golden example of what a good marriage is, and what a loving  relationship is supposed to be like.  From the way they look at each other, it was just apparent that they cared about each other and were beyond comfortable and happy with each other.

This post isn't just about a married or dating type of relationship, but all kinds.  You know, it's that center thing that makes almost every type of relationship the worth something or significant, and that's love.

So, how many of you have asked that?  "What is love?"  A lot, I think.  There are roughly 5 different definitions of it.

1.  Theological: Love isn't clearly defined, but experienced.  It's done so through interactions with another's life in acts of kindness, self-sacrifice, and giving.  It binds us to others, yet sets us completely free.

2. Scientific: Love is a neurological condition and can be compared to hunger or thirst.  It's basically chemistry, and consists of a series of chemicals released in the human brain.

3. Psychological: There are many types of love.  The Greeks developed 6 types.  Agape is best described as unconditional love for all.  Phillia is deep and non-sexual intimacy between two people.  Ludus can be associated with flirting or playful love.  Philautia is love for ones self, so that they can love others.  Eros is sexual passion and desire.   Pragma is a type developed over a long period of time consisting of understanding, compromise, and commitment.

4. Philosophical: Love is a passionate commitment that we nurture and grow over time.  This is a definition that applies to all types.

5. Literature: Love is whatever you make it.  It's relative to where you are in relation to it.  If you're in love, it can feel necessary and mundane.  If you're deprived, it can feel more obsessive and all-consuming.  It's the driver to all great stories.

I look at my own life and the relationships I have.  Do some of these definitions fit them?

I can't even count them on two hands, but I have some people in my life now that I consider as people who are always pushing me forward, lifting me up, and bringing out the best in me.  There are some people in my life who I try to do the same for, and I can honestly and confidently say I love.

I guess being with my grandparents for a day or so made me take a long hard look at my relationships I have.  After 50+ years together, they still look at each other with love, and cherish every moment together.  So, my suggestion to you for today: tell those people you're in relationships with (whether they're family, friends, or someone you're "with" or whatever) what they mean to you.

Anyway, I think you remember me saying that this can be a problem.  I think the issue is that for the people I care about most... I just feel like there's always something more I should do.  Like, have you ever cared so much about someone and you just want to give them the world, except that'll never happen?  And you just strive to do more, to do better, and contribute more to them to make them happier and such, but you feel like you fall short?  Something like that.  If I could give everything, I would.  But I can't.

So, here's an example of a way of telling someone how much they mean to you.  I'll close with this, which is my little dealio for a select few people.  You know who you all are.

I saw that quote the other day, from Tigger.  "I guess you know I like you a lot.  Your friendship is the best present I ever got."  It made me think a lot.  When I was like six, I loved Winnie the Pooh.  And around that time, I was going through that phase of wishing I'd have that best friend who I'd do everything with.  Today, I can honestly say that I'm so satisfied and at peace with the people I have in my life.  You lift me up when I'm down, and you, well, light up my world like nobody else. But, overall, you frankly mean the world to me.  You might get sick of me or you might get tired of me being around.  Understand that that's just me trying to remind you all the time that I'm there.  It might not even be mutual, which would suck, but that's okay.  When you're not around, I feel like something's missing.  When you hurt, I want to fix it and I hurt as well.  If you're happy, I'm.  (House thing).  When you're around, I'm content.  It's not that I need you or I can't live without you... simply put, though, I just don't want to.  Each of you have contributed to my life or helped me in some way and are completely irreplaceable.  And here's another Walking Dead quote: "Words are such meager things."  And they are... they fall short now.  I can't really word it.  I guess I'm just wasting 100 words to say, "You mean a lot to me."  And that's all.

Thank you, friends.

 

Random Fact of the Day: Keep in mind, everyone, that the left lane is for fast traffic.  If you're driving slow or whatever, be in the right lane.  So, do this and help me rage less.  Together we can all make a difference :)

Sources: the five theories

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