The Dark Side

 

I've written a lot about relationships lately, and decided I'd give you guys a list of 4 things you can do to help improve your relationships with everyone you know.  Now, don't get me wrong... I don't follow these all the time and I'm far from perfect.  I guess overall I believe that I'll be a better person if I learn to love and treat others better.  So, take some time and check this out.  You might be having problems with a girlfriend or boyfriend or maybe you have a friend you haven't talked to in a while... Or maybe your relationships are fine.  Who knows. These are just some interesting thoughts that you might benefit from.  Enjoy!

1. I think everyone does this; we like to cut people off before they finish what they're saying.  I remember when I was in high school I was that try-hard kid who always tried to answer the questions first... sometimes I'd blurt out my response before the teacher finished the question.  Listen more, talk less.  Don't interrupt, and hear the other person out.    A lot of relationships thrive on good communication and that simply isn't possible if you won't let the other person speak their mind.  Here's some scripture to back that up for you: Proverbs 18:13, 29:20.  Take your  time with your words, consider them carefully. 


2. When we're angry or upset, it's the easiest thing in the world to fire back something offensive or insulting.  Don't you think that a lot of our falling outs or problems with others would have been resolved a lot easier if we had held our tongue?  When you speak, try to make sure your words aren't laced in anger or frustration.  Again, consider your words, tone, and intent carefully.  If a negative emotion is your main motivation from speaking, don't.  This is something I definitely struggle with and I doubt there's a single person who hasn't lashed out angrily at another at least once.  So, some more scripture for you: James 1:19, Proverbs 29:11.


3. Pray for the other person, or wish them well no matter what.  I've realized one thing in my involvement with political stuff and other things; when you talk badly about someone behind their back I find it nearly impossible to be kind to them in person.  The things you say behind someone else's back resurface when you see them, and you see them in that negative manner.  You're going to be so much more willing to have peace and work things out if you just do your best to not dwell on the negatives and hope that they're doing alright.  Resolutions are most possible when you want them and when you see the that both you and the person you're at odds with are human with plenty of flaws and imperfections.  When someone tells you every day that someone you know is an evil person, you'll begin to consider it, and you may even begin to believe it.  It's worse when you're the one trying to make others believe so, whether it's true or not.  I guess this is hard to do.  Sometimes that other person really is just an unlikable individual or someone you can hardly stand.  But let me put it this way: would you rather that person change for the better, or worsen?  Pray that they better, or that they become happy.  And what's the point of only praying for people who are doing well, or for those you care about?  Here's some scripture to help you out:  Matthew 5:43-48, Colossians 1:9.


4. We have all been wronged by another.  We've done equally as bad things to others, as well (generally speaking).  It's very easy to hold a grudge, refuse to forgive, and live in resentment.  Steven Marboli wrote, "The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward."  I like to think that we sometimes just can't forget what people do to us, wrong or right.  We should forgive, of course, but that isn't the same thing as forgetting.  A lot of people are like, "Oh, forgive, forget..." but frankly, I don't think a lot of things work that way.  When I forgive someone, I accept whatever they did and move on.  Sometimes this takes time, and sometimes it's the hardest thing in the world.  I don't usually forget, but I do move on.  Alexander Pope said, "To err is human, to forgive is divine."  And that's exactly it.  Holding grudges will make it impossible for a relationship to thrive.  So, accept the other persons mistakes and hold them accountable when you must... but move on.  Here's some scripture for you: Collosians 3:13, 1 Corinthians 13:7, Ephesians 4:31-32, Galatians 6:1-2.

I could go on for probably 8 more things, but I'll leave it at this for now.  One thing I wanted to add was Yoda's path to the dark side of the Force.

Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.

It might not always work this way, but Yoda has a point; negative emotions snowball or get more extreme and worse.  3 out of 4 of those were communication tips that when followed can either end or prevent negative feelings.  The last one was about moving on from negative feelings.  Just keep this final thought in mind; bad thoughts and feelings don't stay where they are-- they infect.  The longer you leave the problems or issues unchecked or ignored, the worse they  become and harder it is to heal.

Let me know what you guys think.  I was thinking about some of this stuff the other day, figured I'd share my thoughts.  Have a nice day! :D