Selfitis - the Disorder of our Generation

 

Conversations have become texting, fights are now phone calls, and feelings are statuses and subtweets.  When my grandparents grew up and fell in love back in the fifties, there weren't any computers, no one owned (or really even fathomed the idea of) mobile devices, and they didn't have social media.  Rumors were whispered, not sent in group texts or colorfully displayed on people's news feeds.  People actually said more sentences in person than text messages sent throughout the day.

Look, I'm guilty of this crime just as much as the rest of you.  I would do this if my job allowed, but leave your phone off for 24 hours.  You won't know what to do with yourself.  My friend even admitted she's less likely to come over to my house because of the fact that there isn't Wi-Fi anymore.  We fill our time with checking up on our crushes, on people we dislike, and entertainment all in these little 6" screens.  I dare you to go 24-hours without that.

Let's just get this straight.  Posting your relationship or family drama on Facebook isn't going to solve anything.  You're not going to fix whatever the problem is.  In fact, you're going to make it worse.  And no one cares.  End rant.  Just kidding.  I'm not done yet.

Besides that, my generation has become more or less a narcissistic one.  We look for self-validation in our selfies we post on Instagram and Facebook.  And speaking of Instagram, the motto for the company is, "To capture and share the world's moments."  Now, take a gander and scroll through your feed.  1 selfie, 2 selfies, 3 selfies... and it goes on, and on, and on.  And you're capturing the world's moments with that posed photo of your face that you probably attempted twenty times before you got it just right, eh?  And while Instagram is a wonderful concept, it's been deformed to focus on the self, and aimed inward rather than outward.

There was something that "trended" a while ago on social media that had its users distressed about the act of capturing fake moments of your face in a dozen different ways. Check out the fake news article here.  In case you're too lazy to click a link, I'll briefly explain everything.  The article announced the establishment of a new mental disorder called selfitis.  According to the article, the American Psychiatric Association defined it as a disorder in which an individual has obsessive compulsive desire to take photos of one's self and post them on social media as a way to make up for a lack of self-esteem and to fill a gap in intimacy.  Don't get me wrong, I have a few friends who are quite beautiful people and they do indeed grace the internet world with photos of their wonderful faces.  But this article and the rest of the world's reactions beg the question; do our tendencies and activities online reflect and have an effect on our emotions and thinking offline?

We fish for likes.  That's why we post these clever statuses whining about life, announcing your man-crushes/woman-crushes, or update our profile pictures every other day.  We seek self-validation in social media.  Some of us are genuine with what we post and share.  It's possible.  But more often than not, it's misused.  Even though you're more than likely nothing like your online persona, you want that like, that favorite, that retweet, and that share because it affirms your existence or makes you feel loved.

And isn't it the most disheartening thing to see that "Seen at 11:18 PM Sunday" and realize they didn't have the care or will to respond?  Is it not devastating when you're in the midst of a Snap Chat exchange and you see that empty red arrow saying they'd opened it, but didn't reply?  With social media and the internet, we now have the evidence we've always feared that our crushes, the people we like, and the people we crave attention from don't care or don't have time for you.

I suppose there's more to it than that.  If someone honestly wants to talk to you, they will, or they'll have a damn good excuse why they didn't.  But Facebook, Snap Chat, Twitter, and all these other social engines are paving the way for insecurity, dependence on approval from peers to feel good, and emotional issues well beyond this "selfitis."  I used to be that way.  I used to feel validated when she favorited my tweet or liked my photo.  But when I was in real need, those people weren't the ones who came flocking to support me.  And it was a rude awakening.

At the end of the day, I think each of us needs to reflect on one thing.  Genuine, legit, and lasting love and care will not come from how often someone replies to your texts, how many emojis they throw in there, or how often they respond via Facebook... but who's there in the offline world.  At the end of the day, you need to have the mentality that you won't let the online world define your offline self.  Likes on your profile picture are not going to get you a good job, or a partner that's worth the thought or time.  At the end of the day, you have the ability to use these tools as they were intended; to connect, to share, and make relationships and wondering at the world easier and more convenient.  But don't let it replace your offline connections.  And never let it define you, and never let it define what matters.

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